I’m never sad when not with you
I need more time so I can think
There’s so much more that you could do
Your soul is water; mine’s a sink
I could believe that nothing’s true
I change so I don’t have to lie
I hope that you will let go too
I need what’s only there inside
Don’t dwell on what you’re going through
I’m hung up on the reasons why
Your years go by with nothing new
And all we know is how to die
Forget me just like all the rest
Be glad you had me at my best
You’re surrounded
you can only guess at their intentions—lightly, brightly
They watch you
walk around like you’re in a hazy B-movie
You go through your memory reels, reeling that nothing is quite in focus
how do you stand it?
The same scene just keeps playing over and over, the needle stuck in the same groove
No third act coming.
Forever gazing at the sky
is how your dreams die
It’s a coldness that eats away at your insides.
Fingertips white, tepid water burns,
creates a blotchy rash twisting up your legs;
mast cells activating again.
Always fighting something inside I suppose it is
better to fight than flight
better safe than sorry
better to expect nothing than something
better cynical than naive.
I marvel at my castle in the sky
birth chart dominated by air signs
I need that option to suddenly shut up and float away.
So when I hate you and cut you off.
it’s really about me.
I need
to stop
watering
these
plastic trees
but
what if they grow?
Lord, help me accept the things that won’t change. Let me
help people release the clenched fist of wrath. Let
me be understood and understanding. Don’t let me
accept defeat as permanent painful enduring—let me remember
the trees that change their shape to outgrow immovable
things. Let joy seep out of hate-worn corners
that fester shadows and resentments. Let a love that
won’t fizzle out burn hot within and around. Let me
change softly, slowly, surely, to shine sustainably. And
Lord, help me accept the things that won’t change.
Megan Porter Poetry